[08 Sep 2009|09:27pm] Nothing seems to make me happy anymore. My family, definitely not. My friends, barely. Even my good grades don't make me feel proud of myself. Even a beer doesn't make me happy. NOTHING makes me happy. I get disappointed sometimes that my friends don't see it. But I have to remember that they can't read my mind and if I want them to know something, I have to tell them. It's just that when I did have a best friend, that person would know. I miss having a good friend who I can just cry to and let all my feelings out. Just knowing that someone was there listening to me and understanding me made me happy. (I mean I do have some friends who say that they are there for me, but it's not that easy for me to open up to anyone anymore. I'm scared that they will judge me differently b/c of my problems and just won't understand. And I know that if they are like that, then they're not a friend. You get the fucking point.) I really do feel alone and all I ever want to do is sleep so I won't have to face anyone anymore.

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